Quick Tip Tuesday : When giving feedback, focus on behavior, not personality.

Feedback That Sticks: Focusing on Behavior, Not Personality

In the realm of corporate training and leadership development, one principle consistently emerges as a cornerstone of effective communication: when giving feedback, focus on behavior, not personality. This simple shift can transform feedback from a potentially confrontational experience into a constructive opportunity for growth.

Why is this distinction so crucial? Because personality is often perceived as inherent and unchangeable. Attacking someone's personality can trigger defensiveness and shut down productive dialogue. Behavior, on the other hand, is observable and modifiable. By focusing on specific actions and their impact, we create a space for individuals to understand how their behavior affects others and explore ways to improve.

The Pitfalls of Personality-Based Feedback:

Imagine receiving feedback like, "You're just not a team player," or "You're too disorganized." These statements are vague, subjective, and attack the individual's character. They leave the recipient feeling judged and demotivated, without offering concrete steps for improvement.

The Power of Behavior-Based Feedback:

Now, consider these alternatives:

• Instead of: "You're not a team player."
  • Try: "During the last team meeting, I noticed you didn't contribute to the brainstorming session. I'd like to understand if there's anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable sharing your ideas."
• Instead of: "You're too disorganized."
  • Try: "I've observed that deadlines for your reports have been missed on two occasions this month. Let's discuss your current workflow and identify potential strategies to improve time management."

These examples focus on specific behaviors and their impact. They offer concrete observations and invite a collaborative approach to problem-solving.

Key Elements of Effective Behavior-Based Feedback:

• Specificity: Refer to specific actions, events, or situations.
• Objectivity: Stick to observable facts and avoid subjective judgments.
• Impact: Explain the consequences of the behavior on the team, project, or organization.
• Constructiveness: Offer suggestions for improvement and express a willingness to support the individual's growth.
• Timeliness: Deliver feedback promptly, while the behavior is still fresh in everyone's mind.

Here's an example of shifting focus from personality to behaviour :

Sarah, a project manager, was known for her "abrasive" communication style. Team members often felt intimidated and reluctant to share their opinions. Her manager, instead of labeling Sarah as "difficult," decided to focus on specific behaviors.

During a one-on-one meeting, the manager said, "Sarah, in the last project meeting, when John presented his idea, you interrupted him several times and raised your voice. This caused John to become visibly flustered, and the team seemed hesitant to contribute further. How can we ensure everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas in future meetings?"

Sarah was initially surprised but listened attentively. The manager then worked with her to develop strategies for more effective communication, such as practicing active listening, asking clarifying questions, and providing constructive feedback. Over time, Sarah's communication style improved, and she became a respected and valued member of the team. The focus on behavior allowed her to change, instead of being labeled and dismissed.

By shifting our focus from personality to behavior, we create a culture of growth and development. Feedback becomes a powerful tool for improvement, fostering collaboration and empowering individuals to reach their full potential. Let's commit to providing feedback that sticks – feedback that focuses on behavior, not personality.